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Jessica William

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Jessica William

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John Doe

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Evelyn Hugo was bisexual and spent the majority of her life madly in love with fellow actress Celia St. James.

“You think you’re so gorgeous that no one can possibly resist your charms?” “Yes, actually.” “All right,” she said, rising slightly on her toes to kiss me. “I suppose that’s true.”

That night, in giving of herself, she gave me a baby.

“And to Evelyn Hugo. Thank you.” When she said my name, I swelled with pride and joy and love. I was so goddamn happy for her.

“She’s gone now,” Evelyn says. “The love of my life is gone, and I can’t just call her and say I’m sorry and have her come back. She’s gone forever.”

I desperately wanted Celia to call me, crying, telling me how wrong she’d been. I wanted her to show up on my doorstep and beg to come home. I wanted... her. I just wanted her back.

I took Celia’s hand and turned us around. “Wave to the crowd,” I said, smiling. “Like we’re the goddamn queens of England.” Celia smiled brightly and did exactly as I did. We stood there, in black and green, redhead and blonde.

You miss the love of your life. You want to go home. You would rather be with her, in bed, hearing the light buzz of her snoring, watching her sleep, than be here.

“Celia St. James is going to ruin everything.”

“I didn’t run far, Evelyn. You could have caught up with me, if you wanted to.”

“I guess we aren’t as right for each other as we thought,” she said, and then she got into her car. It wasn’t until that moment, with her hand on the steering wheel, that I realized this was really happening. That this was the fight that would end us.

“But can you honestly say that you stopped loving me?” “Of course not.” “And I can’t say that, either. I have loved you every single day.”

I was lost in her. In the feel of her on me once again, the sheer joy of her attention, the glory of knowing she loved me.

Celia was sacred to me. And I never wanted to lie to her.

“I wasn’t sure,” Celia said. “I mean, I wasn’t sure if you meant me.” “I all but said your name.” “You said ‘she.’ ” “Precisely.” “I thought maybe you had another she.” “There is no she but you.”

“She’s gone now,” Evelyn says. “The love of my life is gone, and I can’t just call her and say I’m sorry and have her come back. She’s gone forever.”

Within those four walls, we were unashamed.

I opened the door. And there she was. Blue dress, red hair, small stature with a presence that filled the whole room. And when her eyes set on me, I knew she still loved me. I could see it in the way her pupils widened and soften.

Celia was going to win an Oscar. It was as plain as the nose on her face. And it didn’t make me jealous. It made me happy.

That evening, Celia called me after she was home from the ceremony and all the parties. I screamed into the phone. I was so happy for her. “You’ve done it,” I said. “Twice now you’ve done it!”

“And to anyone tempted to kiss the TV tonight, please don’t chip your tooth.”